


Slowly

by DearMissV



Series: The Call [2]
Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Secret Relationship, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2020-10-11 18:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20550680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearMissV/pseuds/DearMissV
Summary: All he had to do was woo her. Most would say that was a mammoth task, or even impossible but David had never shied away from a challenge.After the attack on the school, David and Julia agree to start their relationship. Even if it takes time.





	1. A Small and Simple Gesture

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Here it is, the first instalment of the sequel to The Call. If you haven't read that pic yet, I would recommend that you do, as I don't think this story will stand on its own. Thank you everyone for loving The Call so much that you requested a sequel, it means the absolute world. I am all too happy to continue on writing this story. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this first chapter.

They agreed that David wouldn’t stay of a night-time. They didn’t need to arouse any more suspicion. Besides neither of them was sure that their relationship, fledging as it was, would last, especially given their current working situations, and so didn’t want to tempt fate by having him discovered at the flat. They had agreed on this and more one Tuesday evening after David had completed his security check, left with the backup car and snuck back in. He had envisioned a quiet evening, maybe a takeaway and a movie. What he got instead was closer to a job interview. 

He found himself sitting across from Julia, back straight and hands clasped on his knees. She sat similarly. He didn’t know how many relationships started with a rather formal discussion about how they would proceed but apparently theirs did. 

“Vicky has been rostered on overnights now, so I’ll have the kids a few nights a week.” 

“That’s fine. You have a life David and so do I. The whole point of this talk is to figure out how to make them fit.” 

Slowly. That one single word whispered across the pillow proved to be a fundamental element to their plan. Their jobs, his kids; his wife; her ex-husband, all of this had to be considered. They didn’t want to rush anything, didn’t want to confuse the kids or hurt Vicky, didn’t want to provoke a negative reaction from Roger. 

“And Charlie and Ella? What are we going to do about them?” 

The question threw David. What did she mean? Hadn’t she said only a couple of nights ago that they meant something to her? He stiffened. “What do you mean?” he ground out. 

“Well are we going to tell them? If so, when and how? What are we going to tell them? I don’t have children David, so I don’t know how to approach this.” 

David relaxed once more. He was worried for a second there. He had been so caught up in the excitement of their newfound agreement to work on their relationship, that he hadn’t really stopped to think of the possibility that the kids could pose a problem until she asked that question. She admitted she cared for them but caring for them from a distance and being in a relationship with a father of two were different things entirely. Once more though Julia surprised him. Or allayed his fears at least. To be fair to her, he didn’t really know how to approach the situation either. He hadn’t dated anyone between leaving Vicky and meeting Julia. He supposed in the kids’ heads, Dad still belonged to Mum even if they didn’t live together anymore, and that was the end of it. Would it turn everything upside down if he were to change that and introduce Julia as ‘Dads’ new girlfriend’… or would they be okay? Surely, they’d know by now that something was going on between him and Vicky. And they’d already met Julia. Better to err on the side of caution though. 

“Why don’t we just say that you’re a good friend, and that we want to see more of each other? That way if or when things get serious it’s not so far of a mental leap for them.” 

They talked about other things for a while. Serious adult things like the logistics of David getting in and out of the flat without being noticed. And then slightly more childish, though according to David no less important, things like devising a specific door knock to let her know he had arrived, and it wasn’t a stranger. Julia had balked at the idea at first but had relented when David explained it was a safety measure and that texting or calling would be a no-go in case their phones were ever tapped. Julia could live with all of that, but if there was one thing she wanted, it was a routine. Her entire life was run on a schedule and had always been a creature of habit. She wanted to know what was happening and when. They settled for Fridays. Classic date night. 

David wanted to make sure that they did this properly. Well as properly as he could given he was trying to conduct a clandestine relationship with the Home Secretary. He’d need to rethink the traditional dates. They couldn’t do the things normal couples did. They couldn’t go out for dinner, catch a movie or even grab a coffee together. It would be complicated, but David was sure it would be worth it. All he had to do was woo her. Most would say that was a mammoth task, or even impossible but David had never shied away from a challenge. 

David stood to leave not long after. It was nearing midnight and they would have an early start the next morning. Julia walked him to the door. They stood there awkwardly for a few moments, neither sure how best to say goodbye. That much had not been a topic of discussion. 

A handshake? Far too formal. 

A simple ‘see you’? Too casual. 

A kiss on the cheek? Maybe, but something about it didn’t feel right for them. 

Was he supposed to initiate the farewell, or did he wait for her? God it was like being a teenager all over again. 

Julia eventually out him out of his misery. She took hold of one of his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. On instinct he squeezed back. A small and simple gesture, but a meaningful one at that. Slowly. No need to rush things with a kiss neither were ready for. Her final parting was just as understated, “Sleep well hmm? I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He couldn’t wait. 

Days later and Friday had finally dawned. David had been thoroughly researching nearby takeaway places for later that night. Admittedly having fast food was not the most romantic of first-date ideas, but they had had a busy week and he knew Julia wouldn’t feel like fussing around with cooking dinner. He hadn’t come up with much though, he didn’t really know what she liked. They were going down in the lift to meet the car when he asked her. “So, dinner tonight, frankly I’m buggered and I’m sure you are too so we’re not cooking. What would you like me to pick up?” 

“I don’t mind really.” David felt a rush of immediate frustration. That was the answer every partner dreaded. 

“Fine. I’ll pick up a curry then.” 

“No please, I don’t feel like that.” 

“What about some Chinese?” Julia scrunched her nose up, not in the mood for Chinese either. 

David huffed. Why was this so difficult? “Well what do you feel like?” he questioned. 

“I said I don’t mind.” 

“Clearly you do,” they were nearly at the basement, “I’m going to get fish and chips, but you have the entire ride home to think about it.” 

That’s exactly what Julia did. The whole way home she thought about what she wanted for dinner. Not something she normally did. Usually by the time she got home it was too late to think about eating a full meal, so she snacked instead. Knowing this was a habit of hers she always made sure to eat a good breakfast and lunch. But she was finding very quickly that being with David meant changing her habits slightly. And he wanted to eat a proper dinner. They had finished work earlier than normal, so she supposed it wasn’t so much a question of time and exhaustion winning over her natural instinct to eat. By the time the car pulled up outside her flat she had made her decision. 

She could tell David was still a bit annoyed with her. She hadn’t meant to be a pain; she just didn’t read her audience correctly. David was a man who liked straight answers. Black and white with very few shades of grey between. Julia didn’t say anything whilst David went about the checks of her flat. She quietly followed him into her bedroom. 

Without turning towards her he said, “I told you to wait in the hallway.” 

“Fish and chips would be lovely.”


	2. Friday Night Lights

David knew the time he and Julia had together was limited. He waited impatiently at the closest fish and chip shop and tried not to give them the hurry along. On his way back to the flat he had to resist the urge to run. Somehow, he didn’t think Julia would appreciate cuddling up next to him if he was all sweaty. At least he hoped there’d be cuddling, he wasn’t sure yet. He was about halfway back to the flat and in the middle of worrying about the food going cold when he realised, he didn’t pick up anything for dessert. Can you have a dinner date without dessert? It didn’t feel right. Not having many options currently on hand and wanting something quick, David ducked into a nearby Sainsburys. He stood in front of the freezers and perused his options. Not much, but it would have to do. He grabbed a box of almond magnums, prayed Julia liked them, then picked up a few other things and went to the register. 

He was a bit breathless by the time he got to Julia’s flat. Thankfully for all his hurrying he caught the guard change over just in time, he had a bracket of a few minutes to get through the back door before the next guard came on duty. Trying to juggle the fish and the ice-cream and not make too much noise was a bit of a struggle but he got to the door with little trouble and slid through. Like a thief in the night. 

Balancing everything between one hand and a raised knee, he knocked on Julia’s door. Two quick knocks followed by three slower ones. Simple, effective, and easy to remember. She opened it immediately. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she’d been waiting for him by the door. David never thought he would describe Julia Montague as cheeky, but there she was with a cheeky grin on her face. “Hello again.”

“Why hello. May I come in?” he answered with equal cheek. 

Julia moved aside as he stepped through. They were giggling like naughty children caught with their hands in the biscuit jar. He headed towards the kitchen and told her to wait in the living room and not to look. Setting everything on the countertop, he set about putting the ice-creams in the freezer and plating up their dinner. It was miraculously still hot enough, David thanked god for small mercies. He took the plates, glasses and cutlery over to the table and then started rummaging through the cupboards. She must have heard him because her voice called out, “This is very suspicious David. Do you need help?” 

“No, no. I’ve found what I was looking for anyway. Just sit tight I’m nearly done.” 

He got out the last of his shopping and took it over to the table too. It was a bit slap-dash but hopefully she’d see the humour in it. “Alright you can come in now.” 

Julia ambled into the dining room and had to bite back a laugh. She looked at David and saw he had a smirk on his face. He raised an eyebrow and quipped, “never let it be said that I don’t know how to treat a girl.” He had fully set the table, napkins and all. But what really tickled Julia was that he had set out a row of small tea lights and put out a bottle of wine from her fridge. “I would have been happy to eat my dinner out of the newspaper you know. You didn’t need to go to the trouble.” 

A small, sad smile appeared on his face. “I know you would have. But we can’t go out to restaurants for our first date like most others can. So, I had to bring the restaurant to you. Sorry it’s all so clumsy, it’s not exactly what you deserve.” The last part was mumbled, an edge of embarrassment in his voice. 

Julia felt a soft, warm feeling spread through her at his explanation. She had not expected that he would be this sweet. She took his hand and let her gaze wonder over the table once more. “Don’t apologise. It’s lovely. I think it might just be the most romantic fish and chips I’ve ever had,” she murmured soothingly. 

He let out a bark of laughter. ‘I should hope so! I’m trying to woo you after all. But the real question is, is it working?” his previous embarrassment now replaced by a joking lilt. 

Her cheeky grin was back. She couldn’t remember the last time she had such an open and easy conversation even with David’s awkwardness over dinner. “Maybe if you’re lucky,” she replied, “somehow though I think you’re on the right track.” 

“Good. Now let’s eat before this all goes properly cold.” 

They sat then and ate, and talked, and drank wine, and tried to stop the wax from dripping onto Julia’s dining table. It was a good long dinner. They got up eventually to move towards the couches when David started to clear up their plates. “Leave it,” Julia told him, “I’ll clean them up later. Come sit with me?” 

“Hold on, there’s one more thing.” He went over to the freezer then and pulled out the magnums. He noticed the surprised look on her face. 

“How did you know I like almond magnums?” 

David could have fist pumped. Fortune had smiled on him tonight. Not that he would let her know that. He coughed, “I’m your PPO. It’s my job to know everything.” 

Julia nodded, a knowing smile beginning to form. “Oh right. Ice-cream preferences were included in your brief, were they?” 

“Absolutely. Very important information that.” 

They ate their ice-creams in comfortable silence, curled up on the couch and under a shared blanket. Julia had started noticing a few differences during her time spent with David. With Roger it was a rarity that their silences would be comfortable. He was angry or she was, and so silence wasn’t a sign of contentment but one of discord. Maybe it was a matter of circumstance that changed the nature of these things. Maybe she just valued David more than she ever did Roger. Julia knew that these evenings with David were fleeting; that they wouldn’t have another one like this for a whole week. Why ruin it with tension? It was probably a disservice to both men to compare them, all relationships are different after all, but Julia couldn’t help herself, not when the differences were so vast. But in this relationship, brand new though it was, she had finally begun to realise just how much she had missed out on. She realised now how much she needed someone who loved her for her, not for what they could get out of her and her power. Judging from his conduct so far, Julia had an inkling David might just be that person. If that was the case, Julia just had to make sure that she was the person David needed to love him for him. 

David, unaware of what Julia had come to realise, was lost in his own thoughts. He had been stewing over the same problem for a couple of days now and he wasn’t much closer to finding an answer. It wasn’t the end of the world, far from it, but it was annoyance. Maybe it was too soon, but it was his way. He hardly knew anyone that didn’t have a nickname or pet name for their partner, so he didn’t see a reason why they should be any different. Word association was a weird thing though. His parents had always called each other ‘Dear’. So much so that David heard the word and immediately thought of his parents. In that particular instance there was nothing wrong with it, but he was finding it hard now with Julia. He couldn’t call her ‘Love’, to him ‘Love’ was Vicky. It didn’t matter that they were separated. That was his name for her, and it was unlikely to change. So, he ummed and ‘ahhed endlessly. Even went so far as to google pet names. None of them quite fit Julia. They were all too sickly sweet. In the end he settled on an old favourite. Classic, refined, but still affectionate. 

“You’ve got that tv interview on Monday, isn’t that right Darlin’?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy with the response to the first chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this latest instalment. Please don't be afraid to tell me what you think!


	3. Love and the Green-Eyed Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David learns something new and it leaves him questioning everything.

The interview with Andrew Marr had gone well, despite all obstacles. Julia felt she gave well-reasoned answers and made her points clear. How she managed to do that while wearing David’s shirt and engulfed in the smell of his cologne was beyond her. And with no other option, Julia had no choice but to work through the rest of the day and try not to imagine David topless all while wearing that same shirt. Half of her wanted to throttle Chanel and the other half wanted to thank her profusely. So, there she sat, listening to her ex-husband rant and rave while wearing her secret lover’s dress shirt. 

Roger had overstayed his welcome by a good hour. How she ever managed to not have David throw him out was beyond her. He had come to finish the discussion, if it could be called that, they started outside parliament a few days earlier. He continued to accuse her of ‘making a move for the leadership’ and not toeing the party line. Of course, she was making a move for Number 10, but she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of hearing it. Julia mentally clocked out halfway through his rant. She tried her best to look interested truly she did, but she couldn’t help but gaze at him in wonder. Not for the first time she found herself asking why she married him. Why did she put herself through that? She supposed she had been taken in by his initial charm and power. Externally he was still quite a handsome man, but years in government with little to show for it had done a number on him internally. He was tired, worn down and jaded. But still he was trying to hold on to the last slivers of his influence. It was like trying to catch smoke. Useless and disappointing. Unable to look at the spit collecting in the corner of Roger’s mouth any longer, she let her eyes drift towards David. So much for getting work done.

Hmmm David. She had chosen much better this time around. He was the complete opposite to Roger. Thank god for that. In the middle years of her marriage she could only guess what Roger had felt for her- they weren’t in the honeymoon stage but not yet flinging insults across the dinner table. She didn’t have to guess now. Not with David. They didn’t say much about how they felt, but David had a way of showing it better than anyone she knew. He always made sure to take one of her hands and give it a quick squeeze as they said goodbye like they did that first night. Though ‘goodbye’ seemed to have a pretty loose meaning for David. He would squeeze her hand just before leaving the lift or as he helped her out of the car. Julia caught onto a pattern. It seemed every time they went from the private to the public, he would find an excuse to hold her hand and give it a quick squeeze. It was a signal that their ‘us’ time had come to an end. Hand holding had never been something Julia was into, but with David it was comforting. It was the promise of more. It was a sign he was there, at her side. So far there had been no emotional declaration of love, and Julia was more than okay with that. She had long ago given up any dreams of a Hollywood romance, but Julia was surprised to learn that she enjoyed, if not adored, David and his small term of endearment. It was an unexpected development in their relationship, but not at all unwelcome. Julia had never thought of herself as anyone’s ‘darlin’’ as David said it, but she was happy to be his. 

“There’s that blasted dinner next Friday. You’ll attend. If I have to be there, so do you. It’s expected of you.” Roger’s voice rudely came back into focus. 

Fuck she had forgotten about that. “Yes Roger, I’m well aware, I don’t need you to remind me. Haven’t you got better things to do? What’s her name? Tina? Go waste her time, not mine.” She stood then and started herding Roger towards the door. Once he left Julia slumped back into her chair with a barely supressed groan. She had been trying to get out of that dinner for months and had pushed it way down the list of her priorities. Besides, Friday night was supposed to be date night surely that was more important? It was to her at least… not that she could admit that to anyone. 

She would have to remind David, and soon before he started thinking of more in-house date ideas. But how? They wouldn’t get another chance to sit and have a proper talk for days. There was nothing for it, she’d have to ambush him today. She waited for the perfect moment before dragging him into the empty bathroom and pushing him against the door. 

“A bit audacious even for you,” he smirked. 

“Ha ha you’re very funny,” she replied sarcastically. Now to deal the blow… softly. “David darling,” she paused and kissed his cheek and rested her hands on his chest- audacious indeed, “about Friday night. There’s this dinner I have to go to.” She watched as his shoulders dropped and disappointment swept over his features. She knew exactly how he felt. “I’m sorry. No one wants to go less than I do, trust me.” 

“How come I didn’t know about this?” 

“Well I’ve been avoiding it for months, so it’s never been a priority. But Roger visited and more or less demanded my presence. For better or worse he is the Chief Whip. For the sake of appearances, I have to do as he says. I truly am sorry; I was looking forward to Friday night too.” 

He took a deep breath and released it again before replying, “it’s okay Julia. We knew this was never going to be easy. I’ll sort out the security detail… So, if Roger demands you be there does that mean he’ll also be present?” 

Julia rolled her eyes. “Yes, unfortunately he will be. Hopefully we’ll be seated as far away from each other as possible.” David didn’t know much about Julia’s marriage, just that it wasn’t always happy. But then who’s marriage is? But having met the man and seeing how openly rude and abrasive he was, David could easily understand Julia’s reluctance to be near Roger.

“You can tell me if he says or does anything you know that don’t you?” It came from a place of genuine concern. David didn’t trust Roger, not a single bit. And because of that he needed Julia to feel like she could be open with him. Maybe this need stemmed from his experiences with Vicky and her distrust, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that the need was present and strong. No mistakes this time. 

Julia smiled a small smile and stroked his cheek with her thumb. She had a way of doing that, be it his cheek or the back of his hand. It instantly made him feel calmer. She leant in close, kissed his cheek again, before murmuring in his ear, “I know you’ll never let anything bad happen to me.” 

The rest of the week passed by in a relentless shuffle between meetings and parliament. Julia finished work earlier on Friday to give her time to get ready. Back at her flat she waited while David did his normal checks. From somewhere deep within she heard his voice call out, “I honestly don’t know how you have the energy to go to this thing tonight. Why don’t you call Roger, say you’re sick, and we can spend the night at home instead of working?” 

She grinned. “Sounds like a dream but I think he would suspect something. I’ve never missed one of these events before. Besides by the time 10 o’clock comes around they’ll have had so much to drink that they won’t notice us leaving early.” 

David reappeared from around the corner. Julia surmised that he must have been checking around the windows in the living room. He came in close but stopped short of embracing her, choosing instead to lean against the wall with his arms crossed with a small sexy smirk on his face. In a husky voice that only seemed to emphasise his accent he said, “sounds like a plan. I’ve been waiting for another date all week you know. If we have an early night, we might just get some time to ourselves.” Somehow, he managed to say nothing indecent but suggest a world of scandal. Julia supressed a groan, he knew exactly what he was doing. They had agreed to take their time, but she knew now that it was going to be difficult. 

Things did not go exactly to plan at dinner. Julia had been seated next to Roger and had spent the entire meal trying not to snap at him. David could only look on from the side-lines. Julia looked beautiful, not in the kind of business-like way she usually did, but softer somehow. Towards the end of dinner her eyes met his, as if she could feel him looking at her. _Stop staring_, she mouthed. Shit she was right. Too obvious. He cast his gaze around the room again. Everything looked fine, but one sight sent him into a whirl of confusion. Kim was standing beside a man David had only seen in passing. That didn’t matter though, he knew exactly who this man was. David always thought him to be taciturn, but the fact that they seemed to be getting along was what confused him. Why was Kim laughing with Roger’s bodyguard? 

Kim noticed him watching them and beckoned him over with an incline of her head. He made his way over to them, keeping half an eye out for any suspicious characters going to talk to Julia. 

“Skip, you know James, don’t you?” Kim asked as he made it to their corner of the room. 

“No Kim we haven’t met.” Turning to James now he said, “I’ve heard of you though. You’re Roger Penhaligon’s PPO, aren’t you?”  
“Surely am, don’t know how I survived this long though.” Far from taciturn, this James was actually quite jovial and talkative. David watched as Kim and he snickered. David couldn’t piece the bits together. Kim seemed to know James well, but David wasn’t sure how. His confusion must have been written on his face because James was quick to fill him in. “Kim and I go way back. She was just starting when the Home Secretary became an MP. Somehow Kim got assigned to her. I was already Mr. Penhaligon’s PPO at that stage. We only stopped working together when Mr. Penhaligon and Ms. Montague got divorced.” 

Well that all made a great deal of sense. Why hadn’t he thought of that? A part of him was surprised though. “I didn’t know that you’ve been working for the Home Secretary since she was married, Kim.”

“Yeah Skip, I’ve been around for a while. Tell you what that was one strange marriage if ever I did see one.” 

A snort came from David’s left. James clearly had something to say. “I’ll say! They would be at each other’s throats one minute and then the next he’d kiss her on the head and go off to work. Though I’d say they spent most of their time fighting. They had that same weird routine though. Fight, and then when it was over a kiss on the head. S’pose they loved each other on some level. Why else get married? They sure had a weird way of showing it though.” James took a second, as if remembering something, and then scoffed, “God I remember when their divorce had been settled. The last of the paperwork signed and they were officially separated and what does the now single Mr. Penhaligon do? He kisses Ms Montague on the head! How strange is that?” 

David could see Kim nodding in the background as if this wasn’t news to her. He guessed it wasn’t, given she was there and all. But for him this was equal parts reassuring and unsettling. He couldn’t help a little sprout of jealousy. It was nonsensical, he knew that. He and Julia had discussed where they were at with their relationship, and their first date had gone well he thought. But if fighting had been a hallmark of Roger and Julia’s relationship, and they had always made up afterwards, even in some small way, how was he to know what Julia felt about Roger? She had never openly said she disliked Roger. She just hinted at it. And some couples functioned better separate then together. What if it was all a game of cat and mouse? What if he was just a bit on the side? A toy boy? 

He hated to think that Julia would do that to him. Surely after everything they talked about and been through already, he meant more to her than that? He had just begun to tamp down his irrational jealousy when he watched Roger drag Julia by the arm to the opposite corner of the room. They were standing barely a hairs breadth apart, whispering furiously. It was almost over before it started. Julia began to turn away when Roger spun her back around. David watched in heartbreak when, as if in slow motion, Roger’s lips brushed against Julia’s temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you for everyone who has taken the time to read, leave kudos and comment. They're such a massive boost to my confidence I cannot describe it. 
> 
> This will sound really desperate, but I don't mean it to be. I genuinely want you guys to have a good reading experience and get as excited about my stories as I get writing them.  
I have a [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dearmissvee) where I post updates, sneak peeks and a few other things that inspire my stories. If that sounds like something you're interested in, please give me a follow! Or not, if that makes you happy too ☺️
> 
> ANYWAY I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Sorry if the end seems a bit strange. It came from nowhere and I just went with it. Please let me know what you think!


	4. Trials and Tribulations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. I'm in two minds whether or not to put a warning in here for this chapter. On one hand you've all watched the show and have seen it depicted, but on the other I know that seeing something and reading it can have two different effects. I personally don't think it's too graphic, but everyone's different. I've decided though that I will warn you now , because you deserve that, and I don't want to get blasted in the comments. I'm sorry if you read it and think this is an overreaction, but I figured better to be safe than sorry. If not, and you think it needs to be tagged, please please let me know. I don't really know the proper way to go about doing this so here it is:
> 
> If you have an issue with depictions of violence (i.e. shooting) DO NOT read the two paragraphs after the long break. Everything else should be fine after that. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think. And thanks as always for reading, kudos-ing, and commenting! Please remember they’re always welcome

David hadn’t said anything to her in a long time. All throughout dinner and drinks he had found ways to sneak up next to her and murmured in her ear. She found herself waiting for when he’d come next, wondering what he’d say. But he did nothing. In fact, he barely even looked at her. Julia was starting to get a bit unnerved by it. She didn’t understand how he could go from staring at her with thinly veiled adoration to almost ignoring her completely. Julia was struck by how pathetic it was, desperately wanting his attention. She had barely made it through that disgusting little episode with Roger, so all she wanted was a small sign of reassurance. A sign that he was still there waiting, and that they’d go home soon. But she didn’t get any of that. She could see from her vantage point that he was still doing his job and that he didn’t look concerned. Not concerned but he certainly had a blank expression. What did that mean? She hated how he could do that. How he could hide things from her. She wanted nothing more than to go over there and ask what he was playing at. But she couldn’t. Not now in a room full of people who would jump at the chance to ruin her career. It wouldn’t do to create a scene. 

She shouldn’t be so untrusting. Julia knew David took his job extremely seriously. Maybe it was just that. He was working. Maybe he had slipped fully into PPO mode, and her light-hearted, caring partner had to stay hidden. That had to be it. He was just working. They would go home, he would check her flat, and that whole cool exterior would just melt away. After the evening she had, she couldn’t wait to talk to David the man, not Sergeant Budd the PPO. 

Constable Knowles was standing close by, surveying the crowd closely. Weaving her way through the throng of people milling about, Julia finally made it over to her. 

“Ma’am?” 

“I think maybe an hour more Kim and then we’ll call it a night.” Julia was tired. She should have taken David up on the offer he made earlier. A night at home with him and a glass of wine sounded wonderful. 

“Can do ma’am. I’ll let Sergeant Budd know.” Julia thanked her and started to turn away when Kim spoke again, “excuse me ma’am, I’m sorry if this is untoward, but I was just talking to James, Mr Penhaligon’s PPO. He’s mentioned how much Penhaligon has been drinking. You might want to stay clear of him. Don’t want a repeat of last time.” 

“No, we don’t.” Julia neglected to mention that she had already seen the effects of Roger’s drinking habits tonight. “Thank you, Kim. Make it half an hour before we go. It gives me enough time to say my goodbyes and then we can be well clear of Roger.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

Half an hour later they were in the car. Everyone was completely silent. Julia could feel that David was tense, but she wasn’t sure why. She’d wait until they got home to ask him what was wrong. 

Her hopes were dashed when David asked Kim to do the security sweep, apparently, he wanted to quickly run through a few changes to her schedule following advice from Craddock. Julia tried not to be too disappointed, she had been looking forward to talking to him alone, even if they were talking about his stresses. There would be other times when they could have this conversation. His job did tend to be stressful after all. Maybe he was just annoyed over the changed to her schedule. She knew how much work organising her security detail was, and any significant changes would just mean more work for him. The three of them made their way up the path, Julia tip toeing her way along as she had taken off her heels, and into her flat. Kim had a different method of doing the sweep, she started from the back and worked her way forward. For once David was thankful for it, it gave them some time to talk. 

Turning to Julia, he looked at her coldly, before grinding out, “do you still love him?” 

For Julia, the question came completely out of the blue. “What do you mean?” 

David’s eyes seemed to harden. To him it was like she was feigning ignorance. “Listen I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary. So, let’s make this quick. Do you still love him?” 

Julia was so utterly confused. She had no idea why he was acting this way. “Love who? Why do you want to leave so quickly, is that why Kim’s doing the checks?” 

David didn’t bother to answer all her questions, he came for answers only. “Roger. I saw the way you two were tonight. Come on Julia, you can be honest with me. Am I just a bit of fun? If I am, I would like to know, so I can leave.” He was whispering now. The kind of angry whisper than was almost a growl. His whole body was tense as he waited for an answer. 

Julia wasn’t intimidated by it. The idea that she felt anything for Roger except complete contempt was laughable. “No David. I don’t love Roger.” 

“I saw him kiss you.” 

Ah. Everything made sense now. “It was nothing. You have nothing to be worried about. As for you being a bit on the side, frankly that’s a bit insulting. We’ve discussed this, I’m interested in pursuing a relationship with you, though if you want to leave then you know where the door is. Don’t let me keep you. I don’t need or appreciate this.” 

“Oh, so that’s it? You’re willing just to throw everything away?” His voice now had descended to a hiss, but it sounded loud in the silence of the flat. 

She matched him hiss for hiss. “You’re the one talking about wanting to leave. And besides, at least I’m actually divorced. In case you’ve forgotten technically you’re still married, which means I have to contend with your wife. If anyone had reason to be jealous it’s me.” 

Kim had chosen that exact moment to walk down the hallway. She hadn’t heard everything, but she heard enough. A chill ran down her spine; surely, they wouldn’t be stupid enough to…? But then she had noticed small things. A heated glance here and there, the small touches. She had thought, and still did that it was simply down to David doing his job and protecting the Principal. And the looks… well they had been known to butt heads now and again. Kim didn’t want to think that David or the Home Secretary would ever be unprofessional, she desperately wanted to believe that she had misinterpreted what she had overheard. Not quite sure what to do with this new information she opted for discretion. “Everything is all clear ma’am.” 

Kim watched as David and the Home Secretary sprung apart. Suspicious. The Principal pulled herself together quicker than David did. “Thank you, Kim. I think that will be all. We have that one meeting tomorrow afternoon, so I’ll see you and Sergeant Budd then.” 

Kim said her goodbyes and stood aside as David too gave a curt goodbye. She waited until they were outside the door, still far enough away from any eavesdroppers. It was now or never. “Skip… you haven’t… started something with the Home Secretary, have you?” She hated how halting and nervous she sounded, but she needed to know. David looked for a second like he was about to deny everything, but upon being met with her fierce gaze he relented. 

“I know we’re not supposed to Kim, but after the attack at my kids’ school and how nice she had been to us, we agreed to try.” His voice was low, sounding almost ashamed at his lapse of judgement. 

Kim instantly saw red. How could they be so stupid? “What were you thinking? You’ll both lose your jobs if you’re ever found out. And actually, for that matter so will I now I know. Have you considered any of that?” 

“We said we’d take our time. Though after tonight I don’t know if we’re still on.” He looked bereft now. Jeez she must have stumbled across a fairly serious lover’s tiff if he was thinking they were over. 

“What happened?” she asked, softer now. Kim didn’t know what to do about the whole situation, but she knew she needed to listen to David. Clearly this meant a lot to him. 

He sighed heavily before rubbing a hand across his eyes. “It was a dinner. Just after James mentioned how strange Julia’s marriage was. I saw Roger pull her towards a quiet corner. He kissed her, and it made me question everything.” 

Kim understood now. When would Penhaligon leave the Principal alone? “David, the thing about Penhaligon is that he drinks too much and forgets himself. He’s never hurt her, but he takes liberties. The Home Secretary finds it uncomfortable, and so we put in place steps to prevent that sort of thing. That’s part of the reason why James and I talk. Clearly, we didn’t do a good enough job tonight. I’m sorry Skip.” 

To say David was mortified was an understatement. “Why didn’t I know?” 

“We thought it best to only have the people originally involved. An agreement of sorts between James, myself and the Principal. Didn’t want to ruin anyone’s reputation.” 

“I should talk to her.” He made as if to turn back to the door to the flat, but Kim stopped him. 

“Not tonight hey? She might not want you knowing about that stuff yet. Better let things simmer down and talk about it later.” 

David spent the rest of the night and most of the next morning thinking of ways to bring it up with Julia. He had been an idiot. When would he learn that things weren’t always as they seem with Julia? When would he start to trust her, wholly and fully? He needed to start now. Two sentences had haunted him throughout the night. 

_I’m interested in pursuing a relationship with you, though if you want to leave then you know where the door is. Don’t let me keep you._

Knowing what he now knew, the thought of how close he had come to losing Julia terrified him. But they hadn’t talked after all, so she didn’t know that he knew those things now. Maybe he had lost her. He needed to clear the air. 

‘Clearing the air’ proved easier said than done. Julia barely said a word to him, preferring instead to go through Kim. That and they were constantly surrounded by people or being hustled from place to place. They were in the car when the first shot landed. 

At first David couldn’t hear much after the grunt Terry gave when he died. Just the ringing in his ears and the punch of bullets as they hit the car. He glanced around him. He had ducked on reflex, too many years spent in the army to do otherwise. He looked around him. Shattered glass, blood everywhere, and Terry’s lifeless eyes staring straight at him. It was a nightmare. Faintly, as if hearing through cotton wool, he heard the shrieking. He looked towards the back seat. Julia was slumped hallway down the seat. Her head still above the glass of the window. Another bullet landed directly on her door another piercing shriek. That one woke him up. 

“Get down ma’am. They can’t hurt you behind the armoured plating.” 

She was still screaming. He looked at her properly. She was covered in blood and bits of Terry. She hair was mattered with it. The white pristineness of her suit now a rusty colour. More shots landed on the car. They were sitting ducks. He needed to make contact with the support vehicle and try to arrange backup, but he needed to calm Julia down first. He needed to make sure she was safe. He shifted slightly so his back was against the door, all the while urging her to get down. 

Their eyes met in the gap between the front seat and the inner wall. Julia had managed to stop screaming, but she was still gasping. Her eyes were wide and searching. In a low, careful voice like speaking to a child, he said, “I need you to stay down. They can’t hurt us behind the armoured plating.” She reached out a blood-stained hand and grasped his firmly. There it was, their tried and tested point of connection. 

Everything happened in a rush after that. It turns out adrenaline and stress don’t mix well. The exact details were foggy. He just knew that by the end of it, Julia was alive, and his friend was dead. 

But it had scared him that much was for sure. He was shaking for some time afterwards. His day had started with him thinking that he had almost lost Julia over a fight, and it had ended with him almost losing her to a crazed gunman. It helped put things in perspective. 

The call came through a short time later. He rushed to The Blackwood, her flat not safe anymore. Kim answered when he knocked on the door. She let him in, Julia was nowhere to be seen, but he could hear water running so he assumed she was in the shower. “She’s having a hard time Skip. Understandable of course.” Kim nodded towards a door, “That’s the second shower she’s had since we got here. Apparently, she can’t get the blood out of her hair. She feels safe with you regardless of what happened last night, keep an eye on her yeah? You’re to stay in the room next door. I’ll be just outside until I get relieved.” Kim left then, but not before knocking on the other door and calling out to Julia that he was there now. 

He stood in the middle of the room a little while, surveying it. He didn’t need to be told that Julia wasn’t coping well and could have guessed at the hurried manner in which she was brought here. The room was in a state of organised chaos. Very unlike Julia. Her briefcases and other reams of paper were spread out over the coffee table, mugs sat on the bench still full and untouched with the tea bags left in a saucer nearby. Security must have brought Julia’s clothes over in dribs and drabs, there were small piles all over the place. He hoped Kim was the one to organise that, he didn’t know how Julia felt about men going through her cupboards. It seemed he had missed most of the action while at the debriefing with Craddock and Sampson. The water had stopped a short time ago, but David didn’t register it. Just as he didn’t register the sound of feet padding across the carpet and a soft cough. 

Senses dulled by the events of the day; it took a little while for David to sense another presence in the room. But when he did, he spun to look at her, to truly take her in. Hair damp and wrapped in her white dressing gown, Julia looked almost childlike. There was still that haunted look about her only it was fainter now she had a bit of time to absorb what had happened. 

They stood there on opposite side of the room like a classic western standoff. They relaxed only when, in a broken voice Julia stammered, “I’m not the Queen. You’re allowed to touch me.” He hadn’t realised he had been waiting for permission, but once it was granted, he was drawn to her like a magnet. He gathered her in his arms and revelled in her warmth and the soft familiar smell of her soap. He kissed her then, at first gently. He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her temples, the tip of her nose, her eyelids. It was almost reverent. He settled for her lips eventually, giving one small gentle kiss before pulling away. He couldn’t help but rasp, “Darlin’ I nearly lost you.” 

He kissed her again, and again, and once more just to be safe. Desperately this time. He basked in the simple fact that she was alive. A hand moved to tangle in the damp hair at the nape of her neck while the other found its way to her hip. Julia responded readily to his kisses, but took her time replying to his words. After what felt like an eternity, she backed away just enough for her to breathe against his lips, “No, you didn't lose me.” 

David had the feeling that she wasn’t just talking about the shooting.


	5. Parks and Recreation

“Stay. Please stay.” 

“Julia, we agreed. No staying over. There’s a guard just outside the door for god’s sake.” 

“I need you.” 

It came quietly, and perhaps a little shamefully. Julia Montague was not one to admit to needing anybody, David knew that. How could he deny her this one thing, especially after all that’s happened? He had slowly coaxed her towards bed but had only made it as far as the bedroom doorway. He could see she was exhausted, but she fought him on every step. He had thought she was trying to get more information out of him, not that he could really blame her. He’d want to know who had delayed the back-up personnel too if he’d been the intended target of an assassination attempt. But actually, her motives were much simpler than that. She was scared. For the first time David realised the weight of his responsibility. He wasn’t just her PPO, he was her lover, her security blanket in more ways than one. 

“Alright then,” he watched as her shoulders slumped in relief. “Just this once mind.” 

“Thank you.” Julia turned then and walked towards the bed but stopped short. She faced him once more, a shy look on her face. Her hands did this strange fluttery movement before she asked, “which side of the bed do you prefer?” 

It wasn’t the first time they had slept together, but it was the first time sleeping together as a couple. They both seemed to sense that this was a big thing, that how they slept tonight would probably determine how they would sleep in the future. David truly didn’t mind what side of the bed he slept on. Years in the army trying to sleep in just about every condition on any surface had made that question irrelevant. Julia, thankfully having not gone through that, probably did have a preference. “Why don’t you hop in first and I’ll just take whatever side is left?” She chose the right side, so David climbed onto the left. 

Julia couldn’t help but be tense. With the lights out and the room quiet, her mind had nothing to settle on, but images of Terry and blood splattered against windows, the sound of bullets hitting the car, the shattering of glass. The images just swirled around her minds’ eye, never giving her any reprieve. She supposed she could ask David how to cope with these things. Surely, he would know. But as much as she wanted and needed David with her, she didn’t want to lean on him too much. The compulsive need to solve things by herself was one of her poorer character traits. 

David could feel the sheets rustling next to him. He could hear Julia’s staggered breathing. Looking over to her, through the darkness he could see that she was shaking. Probably having a panic attack, he guessed. He had those too the first time he had been shot at and had only escalated from there. But to watch Julia, normally a pillar of strength, suffering like this was heartbreaking. He switched the bedside light on before Rolling over onto his side and shuffling closer to her. Reaching for her hand he said calmly but firmly, “Julia listen to me. It’s just a panic attack. You’re okay. You just need to breathe.” Julia turned her head to look at him then, and he was struck by the look in her eyes. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, but she acknowledged what he’d said by taking a deep breath and blowing it out slowly. “That’s it, there you go. You just keep breathing. You’re okay, I’ve got you.” 

The panic attack lasted a good few minutes, but all the while David moved Julia’s hair off her forehead or drew lazy patterns on her back. Eventually her breathing returned to normal, but the faintest of trembles remained. Still stroking her back, he asked softly, “do you need a hug?” Julia stopped for a moment, as if to take stock of her emotional state, and then nodded. Wrapped safely in David’s arms she finally relaxed. It was a little while before either of them spoke, and it was Julia who eventually broke the silence. David didn’t catch it though; her voice was muffled by his t-shirt. “What was that?” 

“Thank you.” 

“Nothing to thank me for,” he paused then suddenly remembering an earlier conversation with Vicky. “Hey erm, so I know now probably isn’t the right time, but before I forget, Vicky needs me to take the kids tomorrow and have them for the night. Are you okay with that? It’s a Sunday and I don’t think anyone would expect you to be out and about… Kim will be here if you need anything.” 

“No that’s absolutely fine. It seems like forever since I saw them last. What time will they be here?” 

“About mid-morning, so plenty of time for a lie-in.” He looked over at the clock, it was well past midnight already. “I think though if we’re to keep up with them, we should get some sleep…” They were still caught in a very intimate position, not that he minded at all. “Now can I trust you to keep your hands to yourself? Don’t think I have the energy for any shenanigans tonight.” 

Julia chuckled for the first time that night. “Shenanigans? With you? No, I was saving myself for Rob.” 

David let about a rumbling laugh and made a big show of getting out of bed, “well I know where I’m not wanted…” 

“No, no! I’m joking. Come back to bed.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

David woke up early the next morning, long before Julia did. He stayed in bed a while and watched her sleep. It was lovely seeing her this way, relaxed and carefree. It wasn’t a side of her he saw very often but it was certainly one he cherished. Hunger started to kick in before too long and thinking that he could duck in and out before Julia woke up, David got out of bed carefully, not wanting to disturb her. After dressing and deciding to run to a local bakery, David made sure to take a detour through his room before leaving all together just to keep up appearances.  
He was gone much longer than expected. The bakery was busy, and it turns out making the decision between almond croissants and chocolate croissants was harder than he thought. He decided to get both and bought two coffees whilst he was at it. 

Back at the apartment Julia was starting to wake up. She stretched out an arm expecting to feel David’s warm chest, but instead she was met with cold sheets. She sat up and surveyed the room, keeping an ear out for any sounds coming from the living room. Nothing. Maybe he’d gone back to his room? She was just about to get out of bed to check when she saw a piece of paper sitting on her bedside table. Reading it over she couldn’t help but smile. 

_Julia_  
_just gone to get some breakfast. Be back soon. Don’t get up.  
_-D_ _

Taking his advice, Julia lazed in bed. It had been so long since she’d had a lie-in that it felt a bit foreign to her. She was determined to enjoy it though. Who knew how long it would be until she got another one? She lay on her stomach with her eyes closed and just basked in the quietness of it all. 

She didn’t have to wait too long for David. She heard his door open and close and then his footsteps coming through the living room. David slid through the bedroom door quietly, obviously thinking she was still asleep. He set the coffee and croissants down on the bedside table before climbing over her and onto his side of the bed. Julia was glad she was laying down for what he did next. He started slowly, at the base of her spine and worked his way up, placing small kisses as he went. He branched out across her shoulders, all the while squeezing her waist. He took his time ‘waking’ her up, they didn’t have to be anywhere or do anything, this was their time. Eventually he made his way up to her ear, and gently nipped her earlobe. “Time to wake up Darlin’.” She rolled over onto her back and stretched. She smiled sleepily at him as he knelt on an elbow above her. “Good morning,” her voice still croaky. 

“Good morning. You weren’t asleep, were you?” 

“No, but please feel free to wake me up like at that always.” 

“I’ll try and remember to,” reaching over for the coffee he handed it to her and continued, “now I think you should have a rest day. You’ve been nonstop lately and after yesterday you deserve it. I saw Kim brought that book you’ve been reading.” 

Julia nodded along and raised her cup slightly. “Breakfast in bed and a rest day? I’m very lucky. Did you not get one for yourself?” 

“I did, but I drank it on the way back. I thought it might look odd if I walked in with two cups so early.” 

They ate their breakfast slowly and chatted about Julia’s book, David thought it sounded depressing, about a woman who was framed for a crime she may not have committed; but Julia swore that it was brilliantly written. They were just sweeping the crumbs away when a distant knock sounded, it was coming from David’s door. “That’ll be the kids,” David said giving Julia a wink as he strode through the door. 

Opening the door, he was immediately set upon by Charlie and Ella. With their arms wrapped around his middle he greeted Vicky. 

“Thanks Dave. You’re okay to drop them off to school tomorrow yeah? I’ll pick them up after.” 

“Yeah of course. They’ll be fine Vick, stop worrying.” 

Once she’d left, he shuffled the kids further into his apartment. Neither Charlie nor Ella had let go yet, their faces still buried into his belly. Vicky had told him they knew the basics of what had happened yesterday, just that he and Julia had gotten into some danger at work. Despite all assurances that they were both fine, it seemed Charlie and Ella were still worried, his suspicions were proven correct when Ella asked, “are you okay Dad? And Julia? Is she okay?” 

“Hey hey we’re both fine. But I know that Julia would appreciate all the cuddles. You’ll have to be quiet though, we want to surprise her.” He shepherded them through the interconnecting door and into Julia’s rooms. Stopping outside the bedroom door, he turned to them and raised a finger to his lips, silently telling them to stifle their giggles. Not that doing that did any good, Julia was sat up in bed and could hear Charlie and Ella giggling from the moment they walked through the interconnecting door. She decided to humour them and lay back down with her eyes closed. The creaking of the door and the muffled patter of three pairs of feet walking across carpet told her they were close. She felt the bed dip either side of her, and the movement of the sheets as someone slid next to her under the blankets. She had expected jumping on the bed and shouting telling her to wake up, so when two pairs of arms wrapped around her, one pair at her waist and another across her shoulders, she was surprised. Cracking her eyes open she saw David standing at the foot of the bed and met his gaze. Raising a questioning brow, he climbed in beside Ella and kissed the top of her head. He whispered, “they were worried about us and wanted to see for themselves that you were okay.” 

Charlie heard David talking and lifted his face from the crook if Julia’s neck. “Julia you’re awake! Are you okay?” Ella had changed position by now and was leaning up on an elbow, not dissimilar to how David was earlier. Eyes wide the little ones waited for her to answer. “I’m fine. We’re fine. I promise. Yesterday was a bit scary that’s all, but I’m better now you’re here.” Julia never considered herself to be particularly maternal, but around David’s kids she found herself doing small motherly things, allowing herself to be softer with them. Cuddling them and reassuring them were unexpected joys. 

They lay together on the bed for a little while but eventually the kids started to get restless. David sat up and took them back into his room to put a movie on. He had been formulating a plan all morning and just needed a bit of time to put it into action. He knew Julia was used to always being busy, and while a short break in work would probably be appreciated, being cooped up indoors would not. He called Kim and asked her to meet him at the Blackwood. 

It didn’t take Kim long to meet him. He filled her in on his plan. At first, she was suspicious, but he explained that between the both of them Julia would be safe. With Kim in agreement he left the kids to watch their movie and made his way back to Julia. She hadn’t moved except to pick up her book. “So, I was thinking of having a family day. It’s not often we get to spend much time together doing fun things.” 

“Of course. What were you thinking?” 

“Might go to the park? Get a hot chocolate afterwards? Come back, order a pizza and watch some telly before an early night to bed?” 

“Sounds wonderful, I’m sure they’ll love it.” 

“Aye. I’ll go get them sorted then.” 

He went back, told the kids what was going on and got them in their coats and shoes. He went to check on Julia then. She was still in her pyjamas much to his disappointment. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you dressed?” 

“What do you mean? You said you were taking the kids to the park.” 

“I said we were having a family day. That includes you.” 

Charlie and Ella chose that moment to walk in. Impatiently Ella asked, “are you not dressed yet Julia? Come on we’re going to the park.” 

“Jeans and a hoodie will do Darlin’. Don’t worry about doing your hair like you normally do. I’ve got a cap and sunglasses you can use. You’re going out incognito today.” 

“I haven’t got a hoodie. David are you sure about this? What if it’s not safe?” 

David wasn’t bothered by Julia’s concerns; he’d thought everything through. “You can wear one my jumpers then. And yes, I’m very sure. We’re only going to a small park near here, and Kim will be close by keeping an eye on things. You’ll be safe I promise, but the first step is making sure you don’t look like a politician.” 

Not too much longer later Julia stood by the front door in her jeans and David’s maroon jersey. Her hair was straight and in a small ponytail, cap and sunglasses already on. The kids were chatting with Kim in the living room while David stood next to her. The sleeves of his jersey were far too long, so he slowly rolled the cuffs up for her, not missing the opportunity to let his fingers gently stroke the inside of her wrist. He must of sense her unease too, because he looked her in the eyes and murmured huskily, “we’ll be fine, I promise,” before turning to the other three and saying loudly, “right you lot lets go.” They trooped through the lobby and out onto the street. David was right when he said the park was close by, they’d only walked down a couple of streets and there they were. It was lovely, with a playground and lots of trees and flowers. The kids took off at a run leaving David and Julia to lag behind. Thankfully the park was very quiet, maybe because of the chill in the air. Both Kim and David did a quick scout of the area before David made his way over to her and Kim went to the entrance gate. It didn’t take long before Julia was roped into pushing Charlie on the swing encouraged by his squeals of “higher Julia! Higher!”. David meanwhile was kneeling in the sand with Ella, building a sandcastle. Hide and seek was next, and it was Charlie’s turn to count. David was the only one without a hiding spot, so he crouched behind a bush, only to find that Julia was already there. She had a huge grin on her face, her cheeks rosy, and hair starting to fall out from underneath the cap. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her so carefree. 

She whispered over to him, “what’s this then? A rendezvous behind the bushes?” David had to stifle a bark of laughter; it wouldn’t do to give up their hiding place. 

“Not what I planned for today, but if that’s up your alley I can organise that for later.” 

“I actually like to conduct my relationships in private. You know, booking hotel rooms and using codenames.” 

“Well that I definitely can do.” 

They had missed Charlie’s call of ‘ready or not here I come’ and had been talking much too loudly. Charlie found them in no time. It had been getting chillier while they were playing, so David decided it was time to leave. They just about had to drag the kids away until the words ‘hot chocolate’ were spoken. They went to a local café and ordered their drinks. They spent a long time there, enjoying the warmth and each other’s company. Charlie was still young enough that he was more focussed on enjoying his drink than being neat. He had chocolate on his nose and all around his mouth, and it fell to Julia who was sitting closest to clean him up. They left the café somewhat reluctantly and started making their way back to the hotel. Julia was walking in front, holding the hands of both children, while David and Kim walked behind. “I wasn’t sure when you first asked me Skip, but I think you did a good thing today.” 

Later that night, David was in Julia’s bedroom, moving everything about. Julia stood in the doorway, observing what he was doing. One bedside table moved further along the wall, the bed followed and then so did the other table, leaving a large space to one side of the room. He walked past to her then and called for her help. She found him back in his room pulling the mattress off the base of the bed. “What are you doing?” 

“Dragging the mattress into your room. We’re having a sleep over tonight, and your room’s bigger. Could you help please? This is quite heavy.” After much manoeuvring they got the mattress on its side and started dragging it through the interconnecting door and into Julia’s apartment. Charlie and Ella, belly’s full of pizza and now dressed in pyjamas, watched their struggle from the couches. Finally, they got the mattress into position, and Julia set about remaking the bed. It was time for bed, so they herded up the kids and tucked them in before turning out the lights and going to bed themselves. It took a short time before Charlie and Ella’s soft, even breathing was the only sound in the room. David had rolled over onto his side, but Julia knew he was awake. She shuffled closer to him and moulded her body against his. She didn’t mind being the big spoon every now and again. Wrapping her arms around his middle and placing a kiss between his shoulder blades, she whispered to him, “today was perfect. Thank you” David didn't reply, expect for reaching down to hold one of her hands, and gave it a squeeze. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my life's been hectic and I really needed some fluff to brighten it up.  
Julia's book is Burial Rites by Hannah Kent, it happens to be an old favourite of mine and I thought it fit nicely. 
> 
> Thank you, thank you, to everyone who is reading and commenting and leaving kudos. Hearing what you guys think is honestly the highlight of my day, so please don't be shy in letting me know. Do we like where this is going?? 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!


	6. Boiling Over

Julia was running late. They’d slept in and then she had insisted on getting the kids ready first for David to get them to school on time. She forgot though that the Budd clan were sound sleepers, especially when the littlest ones had been tired out the day before. She and David embarked on waking the kids up, gently coaxing them out of bed and getting them dressed. It took much longer than Julia counted on. So here she found herself, in the bathroom hurriedly finishing her hair and makeup. She couldn’t actually afford to be late today, meetings and debriefings had piled up whilst she had her day in the park, and now she had a full day ahead of her. She was just making her way out of the adjoining bathroom when she noticed Charlie sitting on the bed, fully dressed for school and crying. Instant confusion shot through her. Charlie has never acted quite like this the other mornings he stayed with her.

“Daddy and Ella have gone to get breakfast, they said they’d be back soon,” he snuffled. 

Julia knelt in front of him and looked into his face. Breakfast was no explanation as to why he was crying. Never one to beat around the bush she asked outright, “what’s going on Charlie? Why are you crying?” 

“I don’t want to go to school,” he was sobbing now, his breaths coming and going in shudders. 

“Charlie you have to go to school, you know that.” 

“But can’t I stay here with you and Daddy? We could go to the park again.” 

Julia sighed, there was more to this than Charlie was letting on. “Come here little man.” Julia May have been running late, but she could always make time for David’s kids. She sat on the bed then and let him crawl into her lap. He settled almost immediately, turns out hugging went a long way towards calming kids down. Once most of the tears had stopped, she asked gently, “what’s going on hmm? Why don’t you want to go to school?” 

He told her everything then. All about how he struggled reading, how when he got frazzled it all became harder, and how the other kids made fun of him. How he found it hard asking for help, and how he didn’t have anyone but Ella to play with at school. He told her about this new school David and Vicky were trying to get him into and how he had to go there to take a test. About how that school didn’t have a spot open for him and he had to stay at Heathbank. Everything clicked in Julia’s mind then. She had helped him with his reading once before, but they’d been at home, where he was comfortable. She didn’t know about all the other problems or this new school. 

It took time but eventually she convinced him that school was a better option than going to work with her. She explained that neither herself or David would get to spend much time with him today as it was very busy. She told him she’d talk to David about the school and see if there was anything else they could do. He agreed that sitting at the Home Office all day didn’t sound very interesting. There was a short pause in there conversation when Charlie said, “so I guess you and Dad are together then? We wouldn’t be seeing you so much if you weren’t.” 

“Yeah we are. Is that okay? Nobody knows yet. Do you think you can keep it quiet for us? It can be our secret.” 

“I’m good at keeping secrets.” 

Once David and Ella got back they ate a rushed breakfast, they were all running late by this point. As they were putting their shoes on and about to head out the door, Julia pulled David aside and mentioned that he might want to have a talk to Ella about keeping their relationship a secret. 

“Why?” 

“Well Charlie brought it up while you were gone. He said that it was obvious to him because they’d spent so much time with me. If he’s thinking that then there’s a chance Ella is too.” 

Julia found it difficult to concentrate on her meetings for most of the day. She kept thinking about what Charlie said that morning. There had to be something she could do. She wasn’t a politician for nothing after all. Charlie had mentioned the name of the school Vicky and David had tried to get him into. She had made her mind up over the course of several meetings, but decided to wait a while before she did anything just to make sure. 

She looked out through the glass wall to David. He looked tired and worn down. Maybe Charlie’s situation had something to do with it? Most likely. Julia’s job was stressful, no doubt about it, but she didn’t have the combined duty of parenthood and bodyguard. She could help him, help _them_, but she’d do some digging first. 

David was tired-actually he was exhausted. He’d been called into a meeting with Craddock and Sampson. They’d asked the impossible. Spy on the Home Secretary? Listen in on her conversations? Report her movements? David wasn’t sure he could have done that if Julia had just been his boss let alone his girlfriend. It was wrong, so utterly wrong. But they’d threatened the kids safety, threatened Vicky’s safety. He didn’t have a choice and they knew it. He felt sick to the stomach when he agreed. Still did. So now he stood outside Julia’s office thinking of all the possible ways he could get around this- appear to be doing what they were asking of him but still maintain Julia’s privacy. There was the niggling thought though that maybe he should keep a close eye on Julia. Craddock and Sampson would have to have a reason to ask him to do this surely? They wouldn’t ask him for the fun of it, they had to have a reason to be concerned. Plus to add to his worries, the nightmares had slowly started making a comeback. He’d slept well for the first time in ages that first night with Julia. But the shooting had been too much. The attack on the kids’ school had been too much. The October 1st attack had been too much. And it all threatened to ruin whatever good he had built with Julia. Christ this was a lot to handle. 

Two days passed before Julia asked the question out of nowhere. 

“Is it because of Charlie?”

“What?” 

“Is worrying about what to do with Charlie keeping you awake at night? He told me all about it you know. And you’ve been more tired than usual.” 

“Oh, aye.” He didn’t tell her that actually he hadn’t thought about Charlie, not in those moments. He didn’t tell her about how he sometimes refuses to sleep for fear of the nightmares coming back. 

The stress of Craddock and Sampson’s request too hadn’t helped. He still hadn’t made a decision about what to do there. Tell Julia everything and come up with a plan together? Tell her nothing and do as he was asked? Go back to Craddock and Sampson and refuse to do it now he’s had time to think about it? But that would mean putting his family at risk, and that included Julia, especially if they had real reason for spying on her. Trying to make a decision was torment. “I guess I’ve just been a bit stressed lately.” 

“Anything I can help with?” 

“No I don’t think so,” he felt awful shutting her down out like that, when in actual fact she could probably help a lot. But before he came to a decision it was best she knew nothing. “I’m going to lie down for a rest.” 

“Hold on I’ll come with you.” 

They’d fallen into a routine the past couple of days. They’d come home, Julia would do some work, David would get dinner, and after they ate they’d snuggle up in bed together. Those few moments were bliss. Julia told him it was his time to unwind, though he wondered when she ever did the same. He appreciated it though, her giving more of her time over to him, he appreciated it more than he could ever tell her. His favourite place was right here, laying between Julia’s legs, his back to her chest, with her sitting back against the headboard. It started the same way every time. They sat mostly in silence. David would lay back and Julia would wind her arms around him and unbutton his shirt. The first night she’d been conservative, only undoing the top two. As the one night turned into two and then two into three she’d become more bold. Soon enough he was shirtless, Julia hardly batted an eye at the scars, she knew instinctively where they were from. Knew he’d talk about it when he was ready. She rested her chin on his shoulder, one hand drawing light patterns across his chest as the other wound in his curls and massaged his head. On the whole David wasn’t sure how much he deserved this kind of release, but lately he savoured it, craved it too to some extent. 

Julia got all the answers she needed. She’d place a call and hopefully it could be done. Hopefully that would be a small measure of relief...God they all needed a break. Even she was beginning to buckle under the stress of it all. 

Her voice broke through his thoughts. Slowly, cautiously even she asked, “maybe when Parliament recesses for Christmas we can go on a holiday? We could take the kids, do you think Vicky would be okay with that?” David was stunned, that would mean going public, or at least going somewhere where nobody knew who Julia was. Were they ready for that? Christmas was still a while away, would they last that long? He hoped so, but couldn’t say for sure, especially if Julia found out what Craddock and Sampson had asked of him. On top of that it was dangerous, almost too dangerous. His silence must have unnerved her because he felt her withdraw. Felt her arms unwrap and her hands push gently on the back of his shoulders, so that he was sitting up. “Or not. We don’t have to. I just thought it would give us a chance to properly be together outside this room. De stress a little too.” Julia climbed off the bed and made her way towards the door, no doubt meaning to go do more work. He hadn’t meant to insult her. A holiday sounded wonderful, especially if they could all be together. She was just about to head out of the room when he spoke, “Where are we going then?” 

Julia spun around at his question before making her way quickly back to bed with a smile on her face. “Germany has some amazing Christmas markets, I’m sure the kids will like that.” 

The next day Julia called the Minister for Education. She tried to sound as personally removed from the situation as possible. She was just a member of parliament looking out for a constituent, that was all. It would do no good for anyone to think otherwise. “Yes that’s right. Charlie Budd...That’s correct...Well his parents have been trying unsuccessfully for a long time now to get him enrolled...Yes, it has to be that school. No it can’t wait.” Julia didn’t like pulling rank, but even she admitted that there were benefits to high profile jobs. The minister assured her that he would do everything in his power to get Charlie enrolled. He’d let her know when it was approved. Julia hung up and sat back in her office chair. She’d tell David tonight. She hoped he’d be relieved. 

Her hopes were dashed later that night. 

“Why did you do that?” He was pacing back and forth, his tie was undone and so were the first couple of buttons. His hair was in disarray and his eyes opened wide. Julia couldn’t help but think he look slightly crazed. 

“I thought it would help! You said you were stressed about Charlie being at his current school and I’m in a position to change that.” 

“We’ve tried Julia. Vicky and I have tried. You didn’t need to go in there and change it all.” 

“You didn’t see him David. He was sitting on our bed and sobbing. What was I supposed to do? Can’t you see this is a good thing? I really don’t understand why you’re so upset.” 

“Because I’m terrified we’ll be found out! We can’t be seen to have a connection to you that’s not professional, it’s too dangerous for the kids.” 

It’s like he’d punched her in the gut. Julia felt breathless. So this was it? They couldn’t be seen together? They’d just agreed on taking a holiday, they’d been out in public together. She was hurt and confused. How could they go from such highs to such lows so quickly? “But we went to the park the other day. We were seen together then.” 

“Yes, but you didn’t look like yourself. Now you’ve gone and called in favours and pulled strings. It won’t take much for someone to figure out what’s going on Julia.” He was so worked up. David knew that getting Charlie into the school was a good thing. But David was scared. Scared that someone would figure it all out and come and destroy everything and tear him and Julia apart. Their relationship was one of the few beautiful things in his life. But he could see that he was hurting Julia now. She’d let a few tears fall by now. He’d learned from his marriage to recognise the signs. He and Vicky used to have arguments like this before they separated. She’d suggest or do something and he’d react poorly. His was an irrational response, but he was too frightened of losing everything to calm down. Everything, the stress of it all and the nightmares had built up, and now he felt like he was going through a meltdown. He needed to leave. He needed to leave now before he hurt Julia further. Why did he always hurt the people he loved the most? “I’m going to sleep in my room tonight. We’ll talk about this when we’re both calmer.” 

He was almost at the more when he heard Julia again. It was a struggle admittedly, she spoke softly, in a sad and broken voice. 

“I love you. You know that don’t you? I only wanted to do what was best for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter! Comments and kudos are very appreciated!


	7. Truth Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not an expert on PTSD by any means, so please don't take offence if this isn't wholly accurate.

_I love you. You know that don’t you?_

Julia didn’t know what she was trying to achieve when she said that. Probably trying to desperately re-establish a connection. Remind him that she cared- no… loved. She was lying in an empty and cold bed. It occurred to her that they’d been spoiled by their constant proximity. She had quickly grown used to having him in bed beside her, and so now she found it hard to get to sleep. The truth of it was that she missed him, which was silly because he was only in the next room. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but not always. But it was an emotional distance she felt more than a physical one. She wondered briefly if physical distances were easier to bear. 

Sadness had gradually made way for confusion tinged with anger. What the hell was tonight about? Can’t risk a connection? He seemed all too happy to risk spending those few nights at her house. All too happy to risk having his kids meet her. All too happy to risk planning a holiday. What had happened? She genuinely thought he’d be happy that Charlie would be getting the help he needed. But his reaction was far from normal or anything that might be expected. And it wasn’t bruised pride that drove him to speak like that either. It was something else. He’d said he was frightened of being found out. But they’d been careful. Only Kim and the kids knew- the absolute bare essentials basically. She trusted Kim enough not to tell anyone, and the kids thought keeping the secret was some kind of game. If they continued as they started no one would need to know until they decided to go public. So, who scared him so much that a simple phone call sent him into a spin? 

It had been some time since David left. Upon reflection she decided that she didn’t believe anything he’d said. Not really. He’d said things that hurt, but she refused to believe that ‘not being seen to have a connection’ meant he didn’t love her. He hadn’t told her as much yet. But he did. She knew he did. 

David fucked up. Again. 

_I love you. You know that don’t you?_

Yes. Oh god, yes, he knew. Why did he turn around and throw it all back in her face then? Like he was ashamed? Of her, of them, of their relationship. Actually, of all the things David had done in his life that he was ashamed of, loving Julia was not one of them. There was a kernel of truth in what he’d said though. He was scared. Fucking petrified, truth be told. 

The whole thing was too good to be true. He’d come back from Afghanistan practically begging to be loved, scars and all, and found that the one person who had vowed to be with him forever and always couldn’t cope. Not that he could blame her, he could barely cope himself. It was a relief to find Julia. A relief to be so freely loved, even if it could only be expressed in moments of utmost privacy. Their relationship was the one thing that made sense to him. A sense of stability, of calm, of unquestioning acceptance… love. He thought Afghanistan had robbed him of those. He had never been so glad to be proven wrong. That all hung in the balance though. He and Julia were walking a tightrope, one wrong step away from falling. If the wrong person found out about them before they were ready, all of that, the stability, the calmness, the acceptance, would just… disappear. And he’d be back where he started. 

That did not excuse the way he acted tonight though. It was an overreaction. He’s let his emotions get the better of him. She didn’t deserve that, she deserved just as much happiness as he did. Strangely, in that moment he posed more as a threat to their relationship than anyone else. She deserved to know what she was up against, deserved to know what the threat actually was. He was pretty sure he could deal with Craddock and Sampson, but the nightmares? The constant anxiety? He wasn’t sure he could deal with that. Not in the long term. For her own sake, just as much for his, she needed to know. 

“We need to talk.” 

His voice rang out loudly in the silent room. The lights were out, and Julia was curled up under the blankets desperately trying to get some sleep. She didn’t roll over to look at him. 

“You didn’t seem to be interested in talking earlier. What’s changed?” 

“I need to tell you something. Could you... could you sit up please? I need you to see me.” 

Julia finally looked at him. Standing in the doorway as he was and with the lights off, she couldn’t make much of his facial expression. But he was shuffling from foot to foot, his shoulders hunched, and his head bowed. He looked like a child receiving a lecture. Julia surmised whatever he wanted to talk about must be serious. Her David was usually so self-assured, he usually had such a commanding presence. That’s what she had come to expect. Her David wasn’t…this. What had changed? 

She sat up against the headboard and brought her knees to her chest. “Go on then.” 

David took this as an invitation to enter the room. He didn’t bother to turn on the lights. Crossing the floor, he sat on his side at the foot of the bed and adopted a similar position to hers. After numerous stops and starts, he finally managed a sentence. “Coming home from Afghanistan was much harder than I expected.” 

Instant confusion washed over Julia. This is not where she expected this conversation to be going. “Where you not relieved?” 

“Aye of course I was. I had Vicky and the kids for a bit. They were happy I was home, _I_ was happy I was home. But things got more difficult after a couple of months.” 

For a second Julia assumed he was talking about his marriage. She knew the separation was still relatively fresh and they were still sorting thing out. But David had always been fairly open about his separation, any more talk about that wouldn’t require a middle of the night meeting. This was something else, something from the sounds of things David was still coming to terms with. “What sort of things David?” 

“You don’t understand Julia. The war fucked me up. Vicky tried helping, bless her, but it was no use.” 

_The war fucked me up._

Julia felt her heart skip a beat. So that was it. The dots started connecting. The arguments, the unpredictable mood, his stress. Though she never would have guessed from talking to him it was this kind of stress. Those were just the symptoms she knew about. He’d been suffering in silence. What else had been going on in the head of his? 

David continued in a torrent, there was no stopping him now. “It was just the nightmares at first. But then they got worse. Vicky would try and wake me but even if my eyes were open, in my head I was still living the nightmare. I’d think she was the enemy. I woke up too late one time. Frightened her. I didn’t mean to. We decided to separate then. It was safer for her and the kids.” He met her eyes from across the bed. “And then I met you, and the first time we slept together was bliss. The first time in I don’t know how long I actually got a decent sleep. I thought I was on the mend. We had just started, the kids loved you, and it was all very exciting. But then Thornton Circus happened, and it took me straight back to Helmand. And I nearly lost you. The nightmares started coming back, worse this time than ever before. I tried not sleeping, though I always would. Tried meditative breathing. I tried just dealing with it. I didn’t want to bring it up with you. We had enough to worry about. Then things were heating up at work, and everyone wanted more from me. And then that school wouldn’t accept Charlie. It felt like things were spinning out of control. Except you. So, I guess when you told me you went ahead and made the call, I just felt like that was one more thing I couldn’t keep a handle on. I just… lost it.” 

Julia reached over and finally turned the bedside lamp on. Illuminated by the soft warm light, David’s face came into focus. He looked a wreck. His eyes were red and puffy, and his nose was dripping. Shuddering breaths racked his body. He was wiping his palms against his trouser legs. It had cost him a lot emotionally to tell her he was struggling. That much she could see. He looked at her again, beseeching. “I’m sorry,” he rasped. 

“You have nothing to apologise for… Darling… you need help.” 

David let out a heartbroken moan. “I can’t. They won’t let me work when they find out I’m like this. We’d never see each other unless we went public.” 

“Would going public be so bad? If you could get the help you need, and we didn’t have to sneak around?” 

“It’s not safe! What if people go after the kids again? Or Vicky? I don’t trust anyone else to protect you either.” His eyes were welling up again. Julia noticed that his cheeks were dry, so he hadn’t actually cried. He was still _still_ bottling tings up. Still trying to protect her. 

Julia was torn. David desperately needed to talk to someone, but he was right. What if, by going public, they opened themselves up to a world of trouble? She’d need to compromise. Crawling from her spot over to sit directly in front of him, she cupped his cheeks and placed a gentle kiss and then another against his lips. “Okay. Alright. We wait until everything simmers down and we can go home. But as soon as that happens, we’re booking an appointment with a doctor okay?” She paused again, leaning in to wrap him in a hug. Kissing his cheek, she murmured in his ear, “you don’t deserve to suffer like this.” 

They sat in that position for a while longer, re-establishing that connection. Eventually Julia sat back. Running a hand through her hair she asked, “did you want to stay in here tonight? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” 

David took his time in considering the offer. The short answer was yes, he would very much like to stay with her. But given the outburst earlier and the nightmares he wasn’t sure that was the best idea. “I might not tonight,” watching as she tried to mask the disappointed look in her eyes he hastened to add, “I want to, but after everything that’s happened, I’m not sure I should. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep. I might go out and watch some TV on the couch after. See if that calms me down.” 

“I could stay up with you if you’d like.” 

“No, it’s okay. You have a big day tomorrow, you have to go over that stuff for St. Matthew's don't you? You should get some rest.” 

Getting back under the covers and turning off the light she waited for David to slide in next to her. Cuddling up against his side, she rested her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Her voice muffled by his t-shirt she said, “we’ll take it day by day. Nothing has changed between us. Thank you for telling me.”

He stayed with her until she fell asleep and then for a while longer. He just watched her sleep. Watched the steady rise and fall of her chest, watched her brow crease and relax as she dreamt. Watching her sleep soothed his frayed nerves. He got tired eventually though. He climbed reluctantly out of bed and tried not to wake her. He didn’t really feel like watching TV now and so he went to his room and pulled the interconnecting door shut, all the while praying the nightmares wouldn’t come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Kudos and comments are always so welcome!


	8. Trouble

David was not having a good night. He couldn’t sleep and not for lack of trying. Every time he closed his eyes and started to drift off, nightmarish scenes would play out. He’d jolted awake enough for one night to nearly give up all together. It wasn’t healthy, he knew that. It also meant that he wouldn’t be as alert as he probably should be tomorrow, but luckily Julia had a full day in the office planned. So hopefully it wouldn’t be too bad. He tossed and turned a few times trying to get comfortable. He brought the second pillow in close and hugged it, trying to replicate the feeling of holding Julia as she slept. One hotel pillow was a poor substitute. His body was screaming at him to just go next door and lay down beside her, to seek out that warmth and comfort... but he wouldn’t, just in case he did something in his sleep he would regret. No, he would stay here in this empty bed and just tough it out. The risk of him doing something he’d regret was what was stopping him doing a lot of things actually. Things like telling Julia he loved her. It felt like a huge risk saying that and letting that be a known fact when he could do something subconsciously and have it all drift away when she decided to leave him. She promised to stay though, so maybe he should just grow a pair and say it. He desperately wanted to say it. He’d try and ignore the doubts in his mind next time. 

The sheets still smelled like fresh linen which he found strange. He had grown used to being surrounded by Julia’s scent, a kind of lavender scent that was also kind of citrusy. It followed her everywhere and he always found it relaxing- it meant she was close. 

A lightbulb moment. 

David got out of bed swiftly and padded his way through his room and into hers. Walking quietly so as not to wake her he made his way into the bathroom and found what he was looking for. Maybe this wouldn’t work in ensuring he got the best night’s sleep, but it would be something. He’d brought the pillow in with him and held it out in front whilst he sprayed in lightly with Julia’s perfume. Replacing the bottle to its rightful spot on the counter and holding the pillow close he made his way into the bedroom again. Crossing the floor, he stopped and cast his eyes over the bed. Julia was lying in a very similar position to the one he had been moments ago. Curled up on her side and hugging the pillow, she had the covers pulled up to her chin and was sound asleep. David did have to wonder if she resorted to spraying his cologne on her pillow, but he thought it unlikely, she didn’t seem the type to be quite that gushy. Bending over he placed a small kiss on her cheek and tip-toed back to his room. 

Julia slept in fits and starts. It was if her body knew the exact moment David left the bed. How ridiculous, she had slept by herself every night after getting divorced and now after only a small while of being with David she no longer could. In the small hours of the morning she had had enough and got out of bed. Knowing exactly what she was going to do she went over to David’s small stash of things and picked up one of his shirts. Not a dress shirt like he wore to work, but just an average t-shirt that he liked to wear after-hours. Not by any means perfect but it would have to do. Slipping out of her silk cami she put David’s shirt on and was immediately enveloped by his smell. Infinitely more relaxed she got back into bed. Laying on her back she tried to take up as much space as she could, not wanting to feel swallowed up by the massive bed. She supposed it wouldn’t take much just to go to his room and slip in bed beside him. But that felt wrong, if they were going to get through this then she needed to respect certain boundaries. They said they’d take it night by night until he could talk to a professional. Julia couldn’t help but hope that David would feel better tomorrow. She wasn’t sure how many more nights apart she could bear. 

They were both grumpy by the time they got to the Home Office. They’d barely spoken to each other that morning. Julia had an early meeting that was incredibly important for getting RIPA 18 through parliament and was busy going through her notes. David went for a run first thing. He was tired from lack of sleep, but the cold morning air helped wake him up some. All this meant that they left for work in a rush, not having had the time to go through their usual morning routine. Julia had a full day at the office, and between unsettled sleep, rushing to work, the meetings and her speech writing, she didn’t get to have her morning coffee. In short, her morning grumpiness had escalated. Needless to say, the Home Office staff were feeling it. David could hear the whispers among the staff. _What’s got her in a mood? _He supposed he was lucky, knowing her as he did, he knew what part of the problem was. Radioing Kim he stood and waited. 

Sometime later, Kim exited the elevator carrying a try of three coffees, one for her, another for him, and one for Julia. After paying Kim back he took the two coffees and caught Julia’s eye through the glass wall. He watched as she made her way across the office and out the door. Met with a questioning tilt of her head he told her to follow him. He led her down one hallway and then another, before opening a door and waving her in. 

“Really David? The photocopying room? What’s going on?” 

He waved the coffee in front of her eyes. “Call it a public service, but I thought you’d need a coffee.” 

Grasping the cup with two hands to savour the warmth she sighed, “I love you.” 

“I lo.... I know.” 

Julia fought down the twinge of disappointment. He still hadn’t said it. She tried not to be too upset. They were just words after all. She knew he loved her, she felt it. It would just be nice to hear it. For all she tried to disguise it, he must have sensed her disappointment. He took her cup from her and set it on a table behind her. Coming in close he wrapped his arms around her tightly, all the while making sure to kiss the spot just behind her ear. Julia melted. She had craved this all night. She had missed being this close to him. She wrapped her arm loosely around his neck and brought his face level to hers. No way had she waited this long only to not kiss him properly. It was passionate and cramped and exciting all at once. Before she knew it, David had taken hold of the backs of her legs and had picked her up, before setting her on the table. She let out a barely stifled squeal. “Shhh,” he whispered roughly, “you don’t want anyone to hear us, do you?” He continued to kiss and let his hands wander a while. He undid a few buttons of her blouse before trailing kisses down her throat and along her collarbone. “David,” Julia panted, “we’re at work.” 

“I know,” he rasped. She could feel as he started grinding against her. Letting her feel what they had both missed out on last night. “I missed you last night.” 

“I missed you too.” It was hot. Almost too hot. And a little bit rude of David to be doing this to her when they couldn’t jump into bed immediately. She wouldn’t complain though, her day had been dull up until now. 

They stilled when they heard voices from the hallway. Uncomfortably close to getting caught, they separated and put themselves to rights. David sat up on the table beside her and handed her back her coffee. 

Julia took a long sip before saying, “I got a call from the Minister of Education. He’s managed to find Charlie a place. Do you want me to give the go ahead?” 

There was no hesitation on David’s part this time. “Yes please. It’s too good an opportunity to pass up.” 

They sat a little while, just enjoying each other’s company in the quiet of the photocopy room against the bustle of the Home Office. Eventually David spoke again. “I’m going to have to introduce Vicky to the idea of you soon.” 

“The idea of me?” 

“A girlfriend. Or a partner. Whatever label you want. I hadn’t seen anyone before I met you, so it’ll be a bit weird for her I imagine. And she’ll want to know about you if the kids are visiting.” 

“Of course. Maybe just leave out the part where I’m Home Secretary. I’m just someone you met at work.” 

“Can do... we better get back before anyone starts asking questions.” 

It was late afternoon by the time they got back to the hotel. David dropped Julia off before heading to Vicky’s. He was going to tell Vicky about Julia... well not about _Julia_, just about a girl at work he’d been seeing. Just like he promised he’d do. He hadn’t gone so far as to suggest to Julia it might be a good idea for her and Vicky to meet, not yet. He’d let Vicky get used to the idea and then suggest them meeting. 

He was almost at the door when he turned back to Julia. She hadn’t changed clothes, just slipped her heels off and was now curled up on the couch reading something. “Stay out of trouble while I’m gone yeah?” 

“I always do.” 

Left alone now, Julia looked down at the papers in front of her. It was a big step, that much was for sure. And she hadn’t talked to David about it, not that she thought he’d mind. She swallowed her courage, knowing that if anything happened this was as just as good as confirming their relationship, and wrote his name along the dotted line. 

A knock on the door sounded. A meeting she had been dreading. The last one with the Longcross fellow hopefully. She hadn’t mentioned it to David, no doubt he would have something to say about it. But she was a big girl who could look after herself- even if Longcross frightened her a little. She’d explain it all to him later, after this all paid off. She slipped her shoes back on and put away the papers. While taking measured steps towards the door she took the opportunity to collect herself. She was in control here. It was all for the greater good really. Letting him in, she kept her distance and directed him to an armchair. It was silly of her she supposed, but she couldn’t bear the thought of this man sitting on the two-seater couch where she and David cuddled up after work. She didn’t want him to taint it. Taking the couch for herself she sat and listened, and probed, and took what he had to offer. For the greater good. 

David was back at the Blackwood and walking down the hallway towards his room. His talk with Vicky had gone well. It was the most honest they’d been with each other for a long time. Rounding a corner, he nearly bumped into another man. He had greying hair, a long face and he was dressed in a suit. David supposed be was a member of staff, this end of the wing had been cordoned off for Julia’s safety. Nodding to the policemen stationed at the doors he opened the door to his room and slipped in, only to be greeted by a concerned looking Julia. 

“David. I need you to take me to Chequers. Tell no one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One or two more chapters and we'll be done!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's left kudos and comments. They're always welcome!


	9. Good Things Must Come To An End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a gentle reminder that I’m not a doctor.

David began piecing things together. The abrupt need to visit the Prime Minister, the strange man in the hotel hallway, the smattering of information Julia had given him when he asked what was going on. 

He decided to sleep next to her that night and those since. Something about it unsettled him. Even more so when he was called into Craddock’s office to report back. He’d given them nothing. It was only a hunch after all. But it worried him. What had she gotten herself into? Was she in danger? Today marked the beginning of a very busy few weeks spend in the public’s eye. She had constituent surgeries and tv appearances. A nightmare in the making for him basically. He needed her safe. 

The two of them had gone through all the safety procedures. He made sure the rest of the security team were thoroughly versed on them too. They all knew it back to front and inside out. But still, he had a nagging sense that something was going on, and they were all none the wiser. 

He confronted her a few nights ago. The feeling of forboding got the better of him. She was taking a bath and unwinding from the day. He walked into the bathroom and found her laying shoulder deep in amongst the bubbles, with her head resting against the edge and eyes closed. It was silent in there, one of the rare times when people weren’t vying for her attention. He didn’t want to say anything to disturb her, but still wanting some way to get her attention, he gently tucked a stray hair behind her ear. 

She smiled slowly and opened her eyes a fraction. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” 

“Did you want to join me?” 

He nodded and striped. Julia moved forward making room for him. Settling in behind her, she rested back against his chest, there legs intertwined. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. It was a long moment before he spoke again. 

“Julia... is there anything I should know?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I dunno. What was with the trip to Chequers? I just have a funny feeling is all and I can’t shake it.” 

Julia decided it wasn’t the time to tell him about her meeting with Longcross. She told him the truth, just not the whole truth. “I received some information and thought it best to see the Prime Minister without further delay. It was... sensitive.” 

“Oh. Right. So everything is okay then? It’s all been sorted?”

She placed a kiss on his jaw, “everything is perfectly fine. We’re sorting it out.” 

He should have felt better after that conversation, but he didn’t. Not really. Which led to him lying awake at 5 am, thinking everything over. Deciding that any more sleep than the smattering he got was futile, David detangled himself from Julia and went to look over the days’ security briefs. Again. An early morning meeting at the Home Office, one phone interview, and then a drive to St. Matthew’s for a big speech. Lots of people both inside the hall and out. David knew enough about Julia’s politics to know that this bill was controversial, and for him that meant crowds of protesters at public events. The team would need to be vigilant. 

He was engrossed in the brief when he felt two arms wrap around his shoulders and the whisper of a kiss on his ear. “Good morning.” 

“Morning.” 

“Are you still looking at those? It’s a wonder you’ve not memorised them.” 

“I have just about. Just wanted to double check. There’s a lot going on.” 

“There surely is. Now I’m going to shower and get ready. Today’s a big day!” 

The morning passed relatively quickly after that. Before he knew it he and Julia were standing in an empty room waiting for someone to tell them it was time. David has personally overseen the security sweeps done in the hall. He was confident there was nothing amiss. Now it was just making sure that the public behaved while Julia spoke and then they could leave here safely. Julia seemed calm, she was reading through her notes one last time. Tahir was off somewhere, no doubt keeping Rob informed. Almost as if she could feel him watching her, she looked up and sighed happily. “We’re so nearly done. When this is all over we can go home. And I mean _home_ not just the hotel. We can have the kids over again for a sleep over.” She paused for a second, carefully weighing up her words, before daring to suggest something they hadn’t considered, “or I could come to your place... I want us to be together, properly. I want everyone to know that I want you beside me because it’s our choice, not because it’s your job. Is that silly?” 

He reached for her hand, and upon grasping it started to run his thumb back and forth across her knuckles. “No. I don’t think so.”

Their hands sprung apart when they heard the door open. It was time. 

He stopped her host before she walked on stage. The sudden urge to tell her was too overwhelming. Applause was sounding through the hall drowning out almost everything else. But judging from the look on her face she heard him perfectly. 

_”I love you too.”_

A beat. 

The sound of Kim’s shoes hitting the ground as she sprinted down the hall. 

The blood rushing in his ears. 

The painful squeeze in his chest when he realises what’s happening. 

“Julia get down!” 

He doesn’t remember much of the explosion itself. He does remember finding her amongst the rubble and the screaming people. He remembered her struggling to breathe. He remembered the fright he felt when he saw her eyes were closed, and her body limp. He’d been with her right up until the paramedics wheeled her into emergency. He was told to wait, that someone would be out to update the family once the doctors had properly assessed her. 

A stream of people followed. More survivors of the bombing and people he assumed were their family. Kim was there, patched up by paramedics after only being mildly injured. Roger entered and immediately started ordering people about and demanding to know what was going on. But it was all a waiting game. 

Vikki was on shift that night and was dealing with the influx of patients. She’d heard the Home Secretary had been caught up in the explosion. She hadn’t seen hide nor hair of David. She hoped he was alright. A doctor came by, telling her to contact the Home Secretary’s family with an update and that they were allowed to see her. He was unsure if they were in the waiting room. Vikki immediately pulled the Home Secretary’s file, noting that it had been updated recently, and stopped short. Everything appeared normal really, except for the name next to ‘emergency contact/ next of kin’. _David Budd_. She hadn’t questioned it when he said he’d met someone from work. That seemed normal enough. But the Home Secretary? His principal? Taking a deep breath she headed for the waiting room. 

Upon entering Vikki cast her gaze over the full room. She couldn’t see him, but it was worth a try. “David Budd?” 

There was movement to her left, people shuffling part to make way. He was here, a bit dusty and battered but otherwise looking okay. “Vicky?” 

“You can come through and see her now.” 

Roger has something to say about that immediately. Demanding to know why he could see Julia first, “I’m her husband after all.” Kim and David were both quick to correct him, “_ex_-husband”.  
Vikki could only fall back on hospital policy, so she turned to Roger and said, “I’m sorry sir, only family are allowed at the moment.” 

“But he’s got nothing to do with her! He’s just a plod!” 

Vikki was starting to get annoyed by Roger. So she took great pleasure in saying, “not according to the Home Secretary sir. Come on David.” 

They were walking down a hallway when David finally spoke. “Is she okay Vik?” 

“Well you’re allowed to see her, so at least she’s stable. The doctors will tell you more... is she the woman you were telling me about the other day?” 

David made a noise to the affirmative. 

“And she makes you happy?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well that’s a good.” 

“What if she’s not alright Vik?” 

“You take it a day at a time. This is it. Do you want me to go in with you?” 

They were standing in front of a blue door. A private room for the Home Secretary of course. “No.. thanks Vik.” She squeezed his arm, hoping that would give him some comfort, and gently pushed him towards the door. 

It was only after the doctor left when David started processing what happened to Julia. The doctor had listed everything wrong with her and what it meant, but David stopped listening after a short while, he could get Vicky to explain it to him later. He just knew his girl was seriously injured, that she had experienced trauma. The doctors were worried about the head injury that put Julia in a coma. The room was dimly lit, and he was told to be quiet as he moved around or spoke, something about avoiding pressure spikes and allowing her brain to recover. David was scared. There was no way of knowing if she’d ever wake up. The doctors couldn’t give him an answer. “It’s something we have to monitor,” they said. So that’s what he was doing... monitoring. 

It was hours after the explosion, nurses had come and gone, doctors too, but only he stayed. Sitting by the bed, holding Julia’s hand with only the faint beeping of various machines keeping him company, David just sat in silence. Another nurse came in. While she was working, David asked, “can she hear me, do you think?” 

“Yes I think so. Do you need anything?” 

“No.” In actual fact David needed a lot. He needed a shower, needed a change of clothes, needed something to eat and drink. But more than anything he needed Julia to wake up, to tell him everything was alright. 

Once the nurse left he took a deep shuddering breath. “Darlin’ I need you to wake up. Come on, wake up and we can do everything we planned. We can go home and have the kids over. We can travel, we were going to Germany remember? Or not. I don’t mind. We can stay home if you want. And I’m going to therapy remember? We were going to look for a therapist together. It was going to be better. But you need to wake up first.” Nothing, not even the slightest change. All reason had left him, deep down he knew that just talking to her wouldn’t fix anything immediately, but he could see that now. He started panicking. Started imagining life without her. “Come on Julia. Wake up. You can’t leave me alone here!” 

Vikki found him sometime later as her shift was finishing. Still sitting in the same chair, but this time leant forward, with his head resting on top of his and Julia’s joined hands. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her with red eyes. “You should go home Dave,” she whispered. 

“I can’t. I can’t leave her here by herself.” His voice was hoarse from too many hours spent crying. 

“Nurses will be checking on her all night. She wouldn’t want to struggling Dave. You need a shower, and something to eat. And you need to sleep in a proper bed.” 

“But she won’t be there.” 

“No. But Dave... Dave nothing is going to change tonight. She’ll be here in the morning. You can come back first thing.” 

So that’s what he did, day in day out. He would stay as long as the nurses would let him. Go home, take care of the basics, and wait until he could go back to the hospital. He talked to Julia still. Read to her, kept her updated on the news especially when it was revealed Craddock was behind the attacks, told her about how Ella and Charlie were going. Called her Darling even if he never heard it in return. He told her he loved her. 

It wasn’t long before she had a visitor. Sampson has pulled some strings and was allowed in for a short time only. He acknowledged her with a nod. Jumping to the point she stated, “the nurses tell me you call her Darling.” 

“Aye.” 

Sampson nodded thoughtfully. “It makes sense now, why you didn’t tell us anything... David, if you mean as much to her as I think you do, then you need to know we knew. Or at least we had a hunch. We knew about Craddock, we knew about Longcross, we knew about Aikens. We just couldn’t figure out how they were connected, we had nothing concrete.” 

White hot fury flushed through David. “You has nothing concrete?” He nodded to Julia’s body, “is this not concrete enough for you?” 

“David I’m sorry. We couldn’t figure it out fast enough. I wanted you to spy on the Home Secretary because I thought it would help us find the missing link-“ 

“While feeding Craddock and her cronies all the information they needed? Aye I’m glad I told you nothing. You know what? Just go. You’re not welcome here.” 

Sampson was leaving as she turned as said, “I’ll try and stave off the investigation into your misconduct.” 

“Yes so you should. It’s the least you could probably do.” 

Two weeks more passed before the kids asked to see Julia. David ushered them in quietly and sat them on either side of the bed, careful not to disturb Julia. 

“When is she going to wake up Dad?” Charlie asked. 

“I dunno little man. We’re just waiting at the moment.” 

“What if she doesn’t?” It was Ella this time. She asked her question quietly, almost shamefully. 

David fought back tears, and tried to keep his voice from breaking, “I dunno. I dunno what we’ll do.” 

The doctors said there were little to no signs of improvement. David was beginning to lose hope. After a lengthy discussion with Vicky he made the decision to stop seeing Julia. At least not daily. It was doing him more harm than good in many ways. His life revolved around the hospital. It revolved around her. He loved her, undoubtedly, but he couldn’t go on seeing nothing change. He needed to separate himself a little from it all. He needed to give himself space to breathe. 

It had been a couple of days since the last time he visited. He felt better physically and stronger emotionally. He kept his phone on him the entire time, just in case the hospital called. They didn’t, so he couldn’t have known that Julia was slowly, incrementally starting to surface from beneath the fog of her coma. She had been trying to wake up for some time now. It was eternally frustrating being able to hear what people are saying and not being able to respond. She searched desperately for the sound of his voice, but it wasn’t there. It would have been comforting to hear it. It wasn’t long after that when she fell back into a deep sleep. 

The next time Julia resurfaced she searched for David’s voice again. He was there and had been all day, not that she would have known, he just wasn’t talking. She heard the faint rusting of something, but she didn’t know what. A sigh and then, “anyway Darlin’ I have to go.” Thank god! He was there. What did he mean he has to go? She only just gained awareness again. She felt a kiss on her lips. No! No! He can’t leave. Not yet. Julia clamoured to wake up properly. She could hear his footsteps. It was miraculous really. The machine surrounding her started beeping wildly as her eyes opened a crack. She was confused and exhausted, but she knew what she wanted. 

David stopped at the door. It was happening again, his brain playing tricks on him. He questioned it though. It felt real this time.. He couldn’t breathe, didn’t dare to believe that it finally happened. But all evidence pointed to the contrary. It was voice so scratchy and hushed from disuse it was barely recognisable. But he knew it. He turned back, tears of relief and joy streaming down his face. He was at her bedside in an instant. He kissed her repeatedly as doctors and nurses swarmed around them, drawn by the beeping machines. None of that mattered to him. 

“Darling,” she had said. _Darling._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do they ever make it Germany for their Christmas holiday? Keep an eye out closer to Christmas 😉 but for now we’re done. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


End file.
